Pasture Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Loosen up kid. You're not on the organic farm any more.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

A sure sign of rain

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

Cow Pollen

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

"He was much more effective in the field."

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

"Start talking."

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

It MUST be Valentines Day!

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'What can I say? I'm a grass magnet!'

'I think you need an electrician here, rather than a veterinarian.'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

Down On the Farm

Shepherd

'I LOVE YOU GUYS!' 'She's been drinking again!'

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Early American Think tank

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

'Thanks girls: Boy it's cold today!'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'