Party Trooper Gifts

"Brian's been pursuing a successful career in the City for 25 years..."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

Masquerade

Carioca

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Redhead

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Christmas sweater alternatives

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Cheers

Leo McKern

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

Space hopper as a bouncer of a nightclub

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

"Aperitif?"

Down on Bourbon Street...

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"