Party Cynic Gifts

'I don't know about you but I've always hated fancy dress parties.'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

Government a la Carte

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

There's a lot of money flowing into political campaigns. I'm less concerned about money in politics than I am that none of it trickles down to me.

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

"The candidates this year are really honest."

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"

The first accurate poll.

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

"Call me a cockeyed optimist, but I think we can fool all the people all the time!"

"...and which of the election candidates do you dislike the least?"

'If voting in elections really changed anything the politicians wouldn't allow it!'

"So much for the news, now for the corrections."

"Son, remember - its possible most politicians lie - it's the American way."

Finally, a news network that doesn't fill me up...it's 97 fact free!

'It's like home from home, really-rubbish telly, lousy grub..'

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

Politician's mask

'He's an inspiration to us all -- he evaded the draft, taxes, AND questions.'