Party Cynic Pillows

'I don't know about you but I've always hated fancy dress parties.'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

"The candidates this year are really honest."

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"

The first accurate poll.

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

'If voting in elections really changed anything the politicians wouldn't allow it!'

Finally, a news network that doesn't fill me up...it's 97 fact free!

"...and which of the election candidates do you dislike the least?"

"Son, remember - its possible most politicians lie - it's the American way."

'It's like home from home, really-rubbish telly, lousy grub..'

"Call me a cockeyed optimist, but I think we can fool all the people all the time!"

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

Politician's mask

'He's an inspiration to us all -- he evaded the draft, taxes, AND questions.'

"My wife is a doctor. That's great because I can endure the TV news only under general anesthesia."