Cynic On Politics Pillows

"I appeal to the lunatic fringe because I'm a certified lunatic!"

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

The Forever Stamp

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"With great power comes great reward."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

Will Self deprecation

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

Suggestions Get Shredded.