Political Cynics Pillows

Trump lobbyist

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Nihilistic customer service"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

The Forever Stamp

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"The candidates this year are really honest."

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

No more bribes - today.

The first accurate poll.