Political Cynics Pillows

Politics isn't about Politics, it's about Style and Tone So Let's Admit It

Trump lobbyist

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Government a la Carte

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

The Forever Stamp

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

There's a lot of money flowing into political campaigns. I'm less concerned about money in politics than I am that none of it trickles down to me.

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"The candidates this year are really honest."

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

'Huh! Nobody home!'

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

Born Cynical,,,,

The first accurate poll.

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"