Civic Cynics Pillows

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

No Immediate Danger

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

The Forever Stamp

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Stocks rose today on news that even higher taxes won't stop the rich from getting richer."

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

There's a lot of money flowing into political campaigns. I'm less concerned about money in politics than I am that none of it trickles down to me.

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Huh! Nobody home!'

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

The first accurate poll.

Born Cynical,,,,

The bipartisan election cycle: 'Every 2 years without fail, I perform my patriotic duty and vote the bums out.'

*2020

Who is stupid enough to buy this crap?

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

Sucking Up to Gen X

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"