City Cynic Pillows

"I've lived in New York City my entire life, and I've never visited the Statue of Liberty...too many tourists."

No Immediate Danger

Lifeguard watching puddle in road.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

SF NO

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"We'll always hate Paris."

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

'Corporations' studying a city for its 'pros' and 'cons'

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Man at a desk in Performance Review Dept. has a cannon in the 'OUT' box pointing out the window lights cannon.

"I was thinking about leaving until I found out they were going to waterboard me during the exit interview."

The Side Effect of Self-Awareness

Find the failed CEO who got a 200 million dollar bonus while being fired.

Sucking Up to Gen X

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

The bipartisan election cycle: 'Every 2 years without fail, I perform my patriotic duty and vote the bums out.'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

Defend the Cult of Militant Nonviolence!

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

The first accurate poll.

'I hate bird watching in the city.'

Gentrification vs Manchester...

Men Working Since 1931

"Sometimes, on a clear day, you can actually see a tree..!"

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

"Sir, are all these compliments and this reminiscing about my time here leading up to my termination?"

'It's that plan to re-introduce wildlife into their original territory.'

"I just can't work out where the f*****g Swear Jar money went."