Playful Cynic Pillows

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Obama builds own gallows.

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

'You'll have to excuse my husband - he's got compassion fatigue.'

'Well, John, in the past two years you've gone from being extremely depressed to being basically unhappy like the rest of us. My work here is done.'

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

"Everything has been done to death."

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

'I'm promoting you from yes-man to corporate stooge.'

'Always remember, son...there's an unsuspecting public out there.'

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"

"Did he give it all to the poor, or just the after salary and expenses part?"

Mail & Political lies.

'Scaling back public healthcare would be fine, but they'd better not mess with our congressional perks...'

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."

"I'd better read the official view before I form an opinion."

"Some guys have better rafts than Steve... and friends... and jobs... and ears that don't always ring, but no one's got a better attitude."

'Nice to see your dept made a profit, Kimble.'

Suggest box leads to resignation box