Campaign Cynic Pillows

Inevitably

There's a lot of money flowing into political campaigns. I'm less concerned about money in politics than I am that none of it trickles down to me.

'Gosh, I don't know why, but I'm losing my faith in government.'

'I demand cut-backs, austerity measures and belt tightening. . . well, forget the belt tightening.'

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

'Stop! It's football season!!'

"Yes, my folks said they will vote for you ... soon as you become the last man on earth."

Proof That Politicians Care For Joe Bloggs. . .

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Government a la Carte

"Nihilistic customer service"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

The Forever Stamp

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

Campaign Donations

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

Personnel

"The candidates this year are really honest."

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

'Huh! Nobody home!'

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"

Republican campaign tosses out the truth.

Bush's Huge Campaign Fund at Work.

The first accurate poll.