Political Cynic Gifts

'I knew the government would screw up health care reform. They passed it.'

Politician's mask

"Harlow is unbiased politically. He hates the whole human race."

'I was hysterical with laughter the other day. I checked out my campaign promises!'

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"You had better put these on. . . there is an election coming."

"My trust in politics is limited. The dogs of the left pee on me just as much as the dogs of the conservatives."

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"Son, remember - its possible most politicians lie - it's the American way."

"Stop reading political comments on social media!"

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"

"Do you really think setting up offshore accounts for super PACs is the way to get money out of politics?"

"Call me a cockeyed optimist, but I think we can fool all the people all the time!"

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

'Our regular program will not be seen tonight, so that a bunch of politicians may lie to you....'

'Having trouble understanding politics, sir? - I'm a door-to-door pundit.'

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"I prefer a politician who is deeply religious but also doesn’t take any of that nonsense seriously."

"There's reality tv on the other channels."

Which is Lamer?

Democracy at Work

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Government a la Carte

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

There's a lot of money flowing into political campaigns. I'm less concerned about money in politics than I am that none of it trickles down to me.

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

"The candidates this year are really honest."