Civic Cynic Gifts

'Bureau of great expectations ... Sorry we missed our mark.'

'If voting in elections really changed anything the politicians wouldn't allow it!'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

No Immediate Danger

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"Nihilistic customer service"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

The Forever Stamp

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Stocks rose today on news that even higher taxes won't stop the rich from getting richer."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

There's a lot of money flowing into political campaigns. I'm less concerned about money in politics than I am that none of it trickles down to me.

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

'You'll have to excuse my husband - he's got compassion fatigue.'

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Huh! Nobody home!'

The bipartisan election cycle: 'Every 2 years without fail, I perform my patriotic duty and vote the bums out.'

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

*2020

Who is stupid enough to buy this crap?

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"

Born Cynical,,,,