Parthenon Ponderer T-Shirts

"Our goal is to modernize it but retain the historical flavor."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'I say we try it.'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I don't see HIS name on it."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"I'll have dessert first."

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Inventing Time Travel

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."