Parthenon Ponderer Gifts

"Our goal is to modernize it but retain the historical flavor."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"I don't see HIS name on it."

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"I'll have dessert first."

'I say we try it.'

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

Inventing Time Travel

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass