Asteroid Ponderer Gifts

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

The Origins of Everything

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Shall we put it in play?"

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

The Apple Picker Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree....

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"What if it's smarter than us?"

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"If the universe is expanding by 3 trillion cubic light years per second, why can't I find an apartment?"

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"