Asteroid Ponderer Pillows

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

The Origins of Everything

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"Shall we put it in play?"

The Apple Picker Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree....

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"If the universe is expanding by 3 trillion cubic light years per second, why can't I find an apartment?"

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'