Part-time Elf Gifts

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

Accept cookies?

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

"It's just not the same."

"I'm afraid this year due to the threat of terrorist attacks...customs controls...parking restrictions...I have decided to outsource the Christmas operation to Ebay and Amazon."

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

Santa's Workshop. Ernie runs that sanding machind here. He says that makes him a "smooth operator."

'I didn't take you literally when you said you were helping the little people.'

"It's only weeks to Christmas. We have him right where we want him."

Elfie on the shelf

"First it was all of that imported stuff and now he's gone with all robotic toy makers!"

'He knows if you've been good or bad - based on how many friends and followers you have.'

"You're two weeks behind in making toys. What do you mean you now have to test all chess games first?"

'I thought you understood when you took on the job there would be NO Christmas holidays'

"What're you doing for Christmas, Randy?"

The day after Christmas can be the least wonderful time here. These guys are too tired for reindeer games. Jingle bells need repair. She sees him when he's sleeping and hides all the cookies. But - do you hear what I hear? Whirr clank whump. Oh! Joy to the world! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

'Check this out, I'm taking an elfie!'

"I'm going to find out who's [naughty emoji] and [nice emoji]."

Give me an H, give me an A, Give me a P-P-Y! and an H with an O and an L_I_D_A_Y! A little Christmas cheer from Frank and Ernest

"In this district constable, you can't be too careful!"

"You the fellow who ordered computer parts in bulk?"

'So where's this magic little kitchen helper of yours?'

Eric couldn't understand why he wasn't offered the doll making job in Santa's workshop.

"Just for a while dear, we must part."

I got a call from my agent so I have to step out for an audition. I'll be back before you are ready for dessert.

Santa Claus panics as the ice caps melt

"Now they hire only elves who are tech-savvy!"

"I had to bring all these things back because they had 'some assembly required' instructions."

'Sorry, Santa, going 'green' doesn't work for you!'