Traditionalist Elf Gifts

"First it was all of that imported stuff and now he's gone with all robotic toy makers!"

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

'Bring out yer books!'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Search for Rare Bitcoin

"I love these old decorations!"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

Time for Tea!

"The old tricks, young fellow, have served me well."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'Some of these traditions don't half linger on.'

Baptism Then and Now

Graffiti on guard's horse

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'But why do we have to plough the fields and scatter when we get everything from Tesco?'

'The company wants us to embrace change, but I'd personally prefer a quick handshake.'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"In our little socioeconomic group, I've always taken care of the socio and John's done the economic."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Don't even think about it."

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

Books On Paper

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

"It's just not the same."

I'm sorry, but we don't carry artificial trees. They're mostly imported and made of environmentally awful vinyl. What material do you recommend? Tree's Tree Nursery. Wood.

Christmas Chopin

"Not apple pie again!"

How Staring Contests Change

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

'This is just a holiday tradition - It's nothing personal.'