Tech-savvy Elf Gifts

"I'm going to find out who's [naughty emoji] and [nice emoji]."

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'I've told you it's not the old pencil and paper battleships.'

"Knapsack? It's a solar-powered, bluetooth, Wi-Fi, self-charging, two shoulder GenPak with smartphone charger and GPS."

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

Halloween Selfie

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Spell Check

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"Christmas pudcast"

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"When shall we three meet again...?"

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

'It's my favorite Christmas gift - a wireless computer mouse that looks just like my old fountain pen!'

"Hi, it's me. We just landed."

Witches and Their Drones

Shakespeare downloading thoughts.

"She works best in hex mode."

"Today, you're going to spend less time breaking into the school back office website, redirecting air traffic, sending encrypted messages overseas...and more time working on the lesson."

'I remember when tea leaves were the state-of-the-art method of forecasting.'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"It's such a lovely day, why don't you go outside and stare at your phone?"

"Don't bother me now dear. Can't you see I'm on the world wide cobweb?"

"Technology has spoiled our kids. I ordered something off the Internet for him 20 minutes ago, and he's mad that it hasn't arrived yet."