Tech-savvy Ghoul Gifts

Halloween Selfie

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'I've told you it's not the old pencil and paper battleships.'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"Knapsack? It's a solar-powered, bluetooth, Wi-Fi, self-charging, two shoulder GenPak with smartphone charger and GPS."

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

'I've deleted my on-line homework teacher three times but he won't go away.'

"We don't bury treasure anymore - it's all in bitcoin."

"Today, you're going to spend less time breaking into the school back office website, redirecting air traffic, sending encrypted messages overseas...and more time working on the lesson."

'Romeo, Romeo, wi-fi art thou, Romeo...'

"I can't be sure, but I think Dracula is the bat holding the phone."

"Blood bank robbery...you?"

"Hi, it's me. We just landed."

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

'When did everything go online? In my day we did our haunting in person.'

"Technology has spoiled our kids. I ordered something off the Internet for him 20 minutes ago, and he's mad that it hasn't arrived yet."

"It's such a lovely day, why don't you go outside and stare at your phone?"

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

'It's her own fault, she was texting at the time.'

"You don't need to tell me about the birds and the bees. I just Googled it."

'I steal from the rich databases and give to the poor databases.'

Vampire Selfies