Tech-savvy Elf Pillows

"I'm going to find out who's [naughty emoji] and [nice emoji]."

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'I've told you it's not the old pencil and paper battleships.'

"Knapsack? It's a solar-powered, bluetooth, Wi-Fi, self-charging, two shoulder GenPak with smartphone charger and GPS."

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

Halloween Selfie

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

Spell Check

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"Christmas pudcast"

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"When shall we three meet again...?"

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

Shakespeare downloading thoughts.

"Today, you're going to spend less time breaking into the school back office website, redirecting air traffic, sending encrypted messages overseas...and more time working on the lesson."

"She works best in hex mode."

'It's my favorite Christmas gift - a wireless computer mouse that looks just like my old fountain pen!'

"Hi, it's me. We just landed."

Witches and Their Drones

'I remember when tea leaves were the state-of-the-art method of forecasting.'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"I'm gettng a message from the Other Side ... buffering ... still buffering ..."

"Technology has spoiled our kids. I ordered something off the Internet for him 20 minutes ago, and he's mad that it hasn't arrived yet."

"It's such a lovely day, why don't you go outside and stare at your phone?"