Stock-savvy Elf Pillows

The annual Santa Claus stock rally.

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

August is corporate earnings restatement season.

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

"Don't even think about it."

Accept cookies?

Charging to a 10,000 Dow?

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"Well if you don't agree with my count, then you do it."

Stock market news.

"The good news is that the stock market is doing much better."

"Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away."

"You're new around here."

'Can you be more specific? Are you pointing at IBM, IMCLONE, INTEL...?'

'He knows if you've been good or bad - based on how many friends and followers you have.'

Home For Sale - TP Included

'Blast these cuts!'

"You're two weeks behind in making toys. What do you mean you now have to test all chess games first?"

Santa Claus Hanging in Stocking

"What're you doing for Christmas, Randy?"

'Okay I know he's Santas little helper but this is getting ridiculous!'

"I'm going to find out who's [naughty emoji] and [nice emoji]."

'What do you mean, I'm not ahead? My account's been open for over five minutes.'

I can't help you with the meaning of life, I'm a stock market guru

"In this district constable, you can't be too careful!"

"Now they hire only elves who are tech-savvy!"

Santa Claus panics as the ice caps melt

'We may run out of toys. Will you accept stocks and bonds.'