Parrot Training Gifts

Birdie stretches his legs.

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

"I'm pleased that you have finally come home, I can't get the parrot back into its cage."

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"How many letters can you read?"

'Oi, call the fire brigade, my foot's stuck.'

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

Pirates

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

"Repeat after me..."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."

Hello City Pound? Please take my dog away.

"Do you think we should get a pet?"