Parenting Parody Appreciator Gifts

"You heard your mother. No dessert until you eat my broccoli."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

Before Cordless Light Sabers

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

The Mothership

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

Fearless Frog Part 19

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

Sighting of the elusive Bigpaw

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"Hey. Smells funny. Fix it. And bring me a beer."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate. I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate.

'If you're too hot, get back in the water: I'm not buying you ice cream!'

Free Baby. Lily decides turnabout is fair play.

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

"Of course Daddy could explain what a superconducting supercollider is, sweetie, but just at the moment Daddy is watching 'America's Most Wanted.'"

"Seriously, the way you rasied me it's no wonder I can't get a gig in a real night club."

'Apparently the poor love's walkman is broken.'

Children Demand Parental Term Limits.

Is it true kids your age lie 14 times a day? That's outrageous! Yeah, mom. It's sooo off. Good to hear! 14 seems high to me. 8 sounds right.

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

"I don't know how to say this but I've found someone else."

"Ask not for whom the baby cries; it cries for thee. Specifically, thee’s milk."

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

'We lease the children, of course!'

"He made me promise I'd never mistreat you. Then he made me sit and listen to three house of dad rock."

"Yes, but Mummy and Daddy are on legal drugs."