Parenting Parody Lovers Gifts

'So, Mrs Cuckoo, why would I grant you Maternity Leave when we all know you don't raise your own children?'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"I need to know who started it."

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Time for bed, guys."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

Chilly baby.

'Please tell me I'm adopted.'

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"Sure, Mom, I'll eat first, but then can we discuss my 'overseas adoption'?"

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

Young Godzilla.

A Mom's Purse

"I'm worried that Ud isn't evolving as quickly as the other kids."

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

"Michael, do your dinner."

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'Go on Darling, play in the soil-pit for a while...'