Parenthood Humor Appreciators Pillows

'My room's in a terrible state, Mum's just cleaned it.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'She said her first words today.'

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

Chicken With Stroller

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'I dressed myself.'

Dad Dancing.

"Sure, Mom's eager to get us back to school, but she could have stopped the car!"

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

Pregnant vs. Old.

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'