Parenthood Humor Pillows

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

12 step program

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

Pram for Baby Giraffe.

'Look, Daddy! - Fluffy begat!'

Neighborhood Grocer.

Fat Kid 26- Discovers a salt substitute

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Trick or Tweet

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"She's a natural!"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

Chicken With Stroller

'She said her first words today.'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

Billy strip: help with homework.

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'