Parenthood Humor Lover Pillows

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

My Goodness It Looks Like Tracy Island.

Dad Dancing.

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

Chicken With Stroller

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'She said her first words today.'

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

A Mom's Purse

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"I'd like a note excusing me from my wife's childbirth!"

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

Wild Child

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

Maternity Arrivals

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'