Parenthood Humor Admirer Pillows

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

Mom dwarves.

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

Chicken With Stroller

'She said her first words today.'

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

A Mom's Purse

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'