Parental Support Networker Pillows

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

"These safety goggles are sucking the fun out of the sandbox."

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"...Mom, can you get me a glass of wine?"

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

"Why do they tell us not to be childish? We're only nine!"

Triplets

'I don't think he'll be having a party next year - I heard his mother scream 'Never again'.'

"When you head off to camp, your parents will want to see some separation anxiety."

"Awww....someone's done a pooping in their pants. How cute?"

'Stop nagging! I'm fathering.'

"Mom wasn't impressed with my suggestion that we 'agree to disagree'."

"I handled his last adventure. You take this one."

"You're not going out dressed like that!"

'Lost my job, house repossessed, but at least I've still got you.'

"My dad's going to be upset about that "D" on my research paper. He worked all night on it."

"Thanks to separations, divorces and remarriages, I've got 20 grandparents."

'We should've just dropped off our lists and taken our chances. But no, you had to bring a lawyer into the negotiations.'

'I really don't like breast-feeding, but it's really good therapy for her.'