Parenting Support Group Members Pillows

"These safety goggles are sucking the fun out of the sandbox."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"That's not how I sat on you."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"How many times have I told you kids to hang your coats in the closet?"

"Ah...here they are!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

Parenting Business Deals

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"