Parental Support Seeker Pillows

"Mom, my student loans are so high, I was wondering if I could start doing chores again for an allowance."

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"Let's play hide-and-I-read-my-book."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

"And this is my life support system."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Amnesia Support Group: Meeting Today!

"I love group...however, I don't feel that everyone honors my right to express my fears."

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

Son, it's time you grew some legs and moved out.

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

'See, I told you my dad would like you.'

"It all started with my addiction to crackers, then crackers and cheese, which led to crackers, cheese and wine! But thanks to AA meetings, I've turned my life around. . ."

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

Leaning on a friend

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

"The lesbian world welcomed me with open arms -- I can;t just leave."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"It's my baby sister's. She leaked when we got her, and we've been trying to fix her ever since."

"Sorry, son. . . You're not getting the keys to the car until you show me you're mature enough to bring it back completely totaled."

Snowmen Anonymous

"And I suppose if your friends all jumped off a cliff you'd follow right along?"

'I told my Mom either the sitter goes, or I go!'

"Is your dad in a good mood? We're heading into uncharted territory."

Worriers Support Group.

"That 12th step is a doozy."