Parental Safety Warrior Gifts

"Always throw in a few extra pieces, it drives the safety conscious parents crazy"

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"Very fine people on both sides."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

'Beware of teething baby.'

Buggy with Snowplow.

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'