Kid Safety Advocate Gifts

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"Careful."

Reasonableman

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"Here comes the super-visor."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Boozing and Cruising

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.