Advocate For School Safety Gifts

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Very fine people on both sides."

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Careful."

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Reasonableman

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'