Advocate For School Safety Gifts

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Very fine people on both sides."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Getting the hang of it?"

Staff Yearbook

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Careful."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Reasonableman

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

Another shot heard round the world.

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.