Child Safety Enthusiast Gifts

'Now don't you go worrying about it. It's only communicable to children!'

Baby on Board

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

On the brink.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."