Child Safety Advocates Gifts

'What do you mean we can't have custody of the children?'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Man using to much bug spray

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

Coronavirus Impact on Children

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

"Getting the hang of it?"

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"Careful."

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Cafe Burns.

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Boozing and Cruising

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'