Parental Mastermind Gifts

"It started with sneaking kale into their spaghetti. Before I knew it I was sneaking homework into their video games."

"I suppose I could do this myself. Or I could hire someone to do it. Or I could tell Baldo he's too young to do it."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

Your Message on Your T-Shirt: 'Do As You Are Told!'

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

What can I play?

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

I don't like the looks of this.

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

"Timothy, success is nothing to fear."

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

What are they complaining about...the work is challenging,interesting, demanding...AND we let them do it for 80 hours a week.

Bike Wash

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

'No wonder the company is in trouble!'

"What choice do we have? I can't fire him. He knows too much."

'Miron, stop teasing your brother this instant or I swear I will eat you! Don't think I won't! Remember what happened to your older brother Milton?!"

"Juding by your expression, your mom made kale for dinner."

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

'Don't ask for mercy, as a refusal often offends!'

"Her phone has parental controls, but I have to ask her how to use them."

"Turn off the TV and go to bed - I'm your mother, and I approved this message."

The inventions of baseball

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

'Son, it's time I told you about the bears and the bulls.'