Parenting Mentors Gifts

'Miron, stop teasing your brother this instant or I swear I will eat you! Don't think I won't! Remember what happened to your older brother Milton?!"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"That's not how I sat on you."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Children's education

Hanging off every word...

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'The secret to my success? Even as a kid, I never accepted that annoying phrase, 'None of your business.''

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Listen here pup, it's time you realized it's a "dog eat dog" world."

Mentors guide you through the maze.

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."