Motherhood Mentor Gifts

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Female hormone before and after pregnancy.'

"i finally got around to reading the 'Having A Baby' books."

“They tease us for going together, but little do they know this is where we gather to plan the dismantling of the patriarchy.”

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"And another thing: What's that strange clicking thing you do with your beak?"

"I'm here for the hair."

'You've changed since we got married.'

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

'My wife's therapist doesn't understand me.'

'Ask him where he goes every December 24th - because he won't tell me!'

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

"The Momfia"

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'Mother will catch you!'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

''D' is for 'Despair'; 'E' is for 'Exhaustion'.'

'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'

'I'm qualified to deal with any traumatic event because I've raised five children.'

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

'I just feel so used all the time.'

Scenes from a successful marriage.

Client-centered Therapy.

'Miron, stop teasing your brother this instant or I swear I will eat you! Don't think I won't! Remember what happened to your older brother Milton?!"

"Just because I didn't tell you to shut up doesn't mean I wasn't listening."

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

Addiction Research Centre.

"It's a fitting name. I walk you through the prenup agreement and counsel you through the divorce."

Relationship problems.

'Son, it's time I told you about the bears and the bulls.'