New Mom Mentor Gifts

''D' is for 'Despair'; 'E' is for 'Exhaustion'.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

“They tease us for going together, but little do they know this is where we gather to plan the dismantling of the patriarchy.”

Whoa

Mother Nature

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Fitness Programme for babies

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'Ugh Not Again!'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

'The Fashionable Mamma, or The Convenience of Modern Dress'

Moms gone wild

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"

Whoa

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."