Motherhood Mentor Pillows

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Female hormone before and after pregnancy.'

"i finally got around to reading the 'Having A Baby' books."

“They tease us for going together, but little do they know this is where we gather to plan the dismantling of the patriarchy.”

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"I'm here for the hair."

"And another thing: What's that strange clicking thing you do with your beak?"

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

'You've changed since we got married.'

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

'My wife's therapist doesn't understand me.'

Push, push, push...

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

'Ask him where he goes every December 24th - because he won't tell me!'

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"The Momfia"

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'Mother will catch you!'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'

''D' is for 'Despair'; 'E' is for 'Exhaustion'.'

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

'I'm qualified to deal with any traumatic event because I've raised five children.'

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

'I just feel so used all the time.'

Scenes from a successful marriage.

Client-centered Therapy.

Breast Feeding in Public

'Miron, stop teasing your brother this instant or I swear I will eat you! Don't think I won't! Remember what happened to your older brother Milton?!"

"Just because I didn't tell you to shut up doesn't mean I wasn't listening."

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

Addiction Research Centre.

"It's a fitting name. I walk you through the prenup agreement and counsel you through the divorce."