Parental Leveling Pillows

"Right now I'm a stay-at-home dad, but when this baby comes I'm going back to work."

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"I can always tell when the kids go back to school. Everyone is so happy and relaxed."

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

Where did Mommy go? Turtle Peekaboo.

'One small tooth for me...one giant worry for you.'

"No need to Whatsapp me dear, I'm right here."

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."

'Let's get ready for daycare!!'

"Working from home he misses his meetings."

"My parents are at the age where they're very involved with their own activities."

Mom's Gym

"I see your problem, honey. You're doing everything 'waterfall'. You should switch to 'agile'."

The Teenage Mantra: You don't understand...

"Dylan needs a classroom where I don't have to talk to any of the other mothers."

"Don't you think he should be in a more progressive dog park?"

"Ok, so maybe cross-dressing camp wasn’t such a great idea after all."

'Ask your mother.'

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'

'Who are you going to believe, Dad or your own flesh and blood?'

'It's called, 'Move Out Of Mom's Basement.' Only video game I've never been able to complete.'

You are Here- But Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?

"I went to 'Bring your kid to work day' so you have to go to 'Back to school night'."

'The problem is that I can only fool one of them at a time.'

Oil Rig with Day Care Centre.

I don't get what the problem is...I totally tweeted I'd be late an hour ago!