Parental Pillows

"Ok, so maybe cross-dressing camp wasn’t such a great idea after all."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"Just be yourself."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Polly txt speak

Grace For Flies

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'