Parents To Children Pillows

Sweets

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Boy on father's knee

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Young Godzilla.

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

Early Night Club

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

Childhood's End

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

Teaching kids to count is fine - teaching kids what counts is best.

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

'Pick up your feet when you walk.'

'I've got to have a talk with my mother. She thinks the stork brought me.'

"You call that a made bed?"

"No kidding? And it took me 20 minutes to climb up here!"

Naive.

'Young man, face it. There's not going to be a regime change around here!'

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!' (colour)

"There's a lesson here, son. Being rich doesn't stop it from raining,"

"Son, your mother and I agree – it's time for you to leave the hat."

'I see by your resume that you are my son. If this checks out, the job is yours.'

'I need a helping hand.'

'I may lose the connection intermittently.'

"OK, let's try the old 'tell Mommy her sweatpants make her look skinny distractor' on three."

'Look,Mum, that poor man's got toothache too!'