Parents To Children Pillows

Sweets

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

Boy on father's knee

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Young Godzilla.

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Early Night Club

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

Childhood's End

Teaching kids to count is fine - teaching kids what counts is best.

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

'Pick up your feet when you walk.'

'I've got to have a talk with my mother. She thinks the stork brought me.'

"You call that a made bed?"

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!' (colour)

Bad news - The children would like the inflatable moat blown up

"Son, your mother and I agree – it's time for you to leave the hat."

'Young man, face it. There's not going to be a regime change around here!'

Naive.

"There's a lesson here, son. Being rich doesn't stop it from raining,"

"No kidding? And it took me 20 minutes to climb up here!"

'I see by your resume that you are my son. If this checks out, the job is yours.'

'I need a helping hand.'

"OK, let's try the old 'tell Mommy her sweatpants make her look skinny distractor' on three."

'Look,Mum, that poor man's got toothache too!'