Children Of Parents Pillows

"I'm bucking the trend. I'm moving into my parents' attic."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Early Night Club

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

'We lease the children, of course!'

Sweets

Childhood's End

Teaching kids to count is fine - teaching kids what counts is best.

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

Mom and child visit principal who has a sign on the door - Nap Time.

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

'Pick up your feet when you walk.'

"You call that a made bed?"

Naive.

'Young man, face it. There's not going to be a regime change around here!'

"No kidding? And it took me 20 minutes to climb up here!"

"There's a lesson here, son. Being rich doesn't stop it from raining,"

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!' (colour)

'I need a helping hand.'

'When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...'

"Papi, can you take me to the carnival at the mall?"