Parent-child Relationships Pillows

Young Godzilla.

'I see by your resume that you are my son. If this checks out, the job is yours.'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'That's my boy...'

Boy on father's knee

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

'Mom, would you have married Dad if you had seen him in high definition first?'

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

A woman carrying a child carrying a teddy bear

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

Sweets

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

Teaching kids to count is fine - teaching kids what counts is best.

"What's it to be Dad? Two quid or Handels water music in G flat?"

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent teacher night. She wanted to ask you why I never take an interest in anything."

'Pick up your feet when you walk.'

"Maybe I'd get better grades, Dad, if you came up with some kind of stimulus package."

'I've got to have a talk with my mother. She thinks the stork brought me.'

"You call that a made bed?"

Naive.

'Young man, face it. There's not going to be a regime change around here!'

'A cow is called 'productive livestock' because it gives milk. Parents are productive livestock, too, because they give pocket money.'