Parent Pillows

Eight nights of excuses

"Son, your mother is a remarkable woman."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

Russian Doll Christmas

Although adept at a great many other games, Muriel never quite got the hang of playing 'north' when invited over for bridge.

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."

"I'm a social scientist, Michael. That means I can't explain electricity or anything like that, but if you ever want to know about people I'm your man."

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

When Moms Dance

Senior Mints

"I had a bad dream that you were getting rest."

"Wheeeeeeee!"

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

"They grow up too fast."

"Didn't I just give you money for a start-up last week?"

"I do support your right to free speech - I just don't support your tone."

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

"She does this when she's tired."

Lone Wolf

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Let me guess, you're 'Sneezy'.'

'Help! I've fallen UP and I can't get back down!'

'Sweetie, when we leave you every day with Sarah, we're doing it for you. That way we can have successful careers and you can be proud of us.'

"Trust me, son, if there was a monster under your bed I would have claimed it as a dependent by now."

"This is gonna hurt like hell."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Mom?"

"There are some words I will not tolerate in this house-and 'awesome' is one of them."

Hanukkah tree

"Ye-e-es. Yes, you could. You could grow up to be the president of the condo association."

'Hey! Who left the television off?'

"My to-do list is somewhere on there."

"I thought we had the sort of relationship where 'please' and 'thank you' were implicit."

"Let's play hide-and-I-read-my-book."