Parenting Pillows

"Son, your mother is a remarkable woman."

Russian Doll Christmas

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"I had a bad dream that you were getting rest."

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

"Father would be much happier if you wouldn't."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

Bad Mom Cards - Collect The Whole Set!

"They grow up too fast."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"I do support your right to free speech - I just don't support your tone."

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"She does this when she's tired."

"Now that the kids are grown and gone, I thought it might be a good time for us to have sex."

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

"Mom?"

"This is gonna hurt like hell."

"Trust me, son, if there was a monster under your bed I would have claimed it as a dependent by now."

'Sweetie, when we leave you every day with Sarah, we're doing it for you. That way we can have successful careers and you can be proud of us.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

A classroom full of young children; a schedule board in the background lists the day's activities which include: circle time, art fun, snack and S.A.T. prep.

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Hey! Who left the television off?'

Maternity Doors

"Ye-e-es. Yes, you could. You could grow up to be the president of the condo association."

"I thought we had the sort of relationship where 'please' and 'thank you' were implicit."

"Let's play hide-and-I-read-my-book."

"If your mother asks, we crossed at the corner."

"Are we there yet?"

"Let me guess -- first child?"

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"