Parental Decoder Pillows

The Teenage Mantra: You don't understand...

A Tit for Tat.

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Paw readings

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

Complexity Made Simple.

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

"My parent's think I'm apathetic, but I don't care."

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

"Mom can really push my buttons. She installed them."

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

"Before you know it, they'll be all grown up and moved to Brooklyn."

"How did my mom know I went to get ice cream after school? She's either placed a tracking device on me, or she's tracking my phone."

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

Siggy

"I understand that by the time we've hit our teens we'll have them pretty much where we want them."

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

"It's cash. It's kind of like a debit card."

"Mom! Download this app, make an account, sign in and scan this code to see what I made for you."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"I just had a communications nightmare! I dreamt that the postal workers were on strike, the internet was down and someone had eaten the carrier pigeons!"

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

'How do you block the kids from objectionable internet content? I found a bookmark called,'DriveYourParentsInsane'.'

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

Marooned Optometrist

Change Rooms.

'John and I have agreed on 'Mary Kate Elizabeth,' but we're still working on a screen name.'